dream when you're feeling blue
2008-03-03 at 12:31 a.m.
cools. dland has a whole new look. mayber they heard the snarky comments people were making about the pastels and flowers eh. don't know if i like it a whole lot, but well. that wasn't what i came here to blog about.
sigh.
school tomorrow. histpb always makes my sunday nights gloomy, cos i dread the thought of a 9am lecture. waking up at 6plus is NO JOKE, i tell you.
maybe it's back to school blues, maybe it's something else entirely, but i'm just feeling so..
i can't think of a word to describe it.
let's just say i'm sitting here, playing michael buble, not wanting to go to bed because i a) don't have the energy to walk the step and a half to my bed and b) don't quite know whether i want the night to end, or not.
most days i relish the solitude the sengkang flat offers me, the absolute peace and freedom of living completely alone, free to eat lunch at 3pm, dinner at 11, free to walk around in just a long tee-shirt, free to sing along to random songs on my itunes, free to just whatever strikes my fancy. but some times, peace and solitude feel too lonely for words. of course, to me, the lonliness in a quiet house feels less, well, lonely, than the loneliness that sometimes hits in a crowded, hustly bustly place.
this is one of those times where i have such a lot on my mind—i've just typed out an entire entry that i copied to a word doc because, well, it's never wise to post certain sorts of writings online. and no, i wasn't writing seditious things about people..
i feel like christian blake's character in the machinist must have felt—i'm getting increasingly paranoid about the lack of privacy an online blog offers one. ok, not paranoid, because i know not to post anything i'm not prepared to let the whole world see here, but, i guess there are just more and more things that i want to post about that i cannot afford to let the whole world see.
what does that say about me?