uh duh?
2008-02-27 at 11:05 p.m.
i've realised that i am such a total control freak. not precisely in the "i have to do EVERYTHING myself and TOTALLY micromanage or i'll have a nervous breakdown" way, but in the..more general sense. i mean, i do sometimes have difficulty delegating, but only when i cannot trust the standard of the other person's work, and i've learnt to let go, and just let the chips fall where they will, in most work-related aspects of my life. or rather, to be more honest, i delegate, then exercise all willpower i have not to keep checking up on how things are going. but i stress about it, somewhat.
but in the 'more general way', i am a total control freak, and here, i've just not learnt to let go. maybe it's pride, but i've realised i cannot embark on or undertake a project unless i know i'll succeed. i'm not saying that i take the easy way out, or that i run away from challenges. i guess what i mean is that i don't do something unless i know that success is a (big) possibility, either because i know it's likely to happen anyway, or that i can make it happen. i have to know that what i do won't end in a shambles, because i think i am just fundamentally too chicken to deal with disaster. so i get all control-freak.
so this was my most recent discovery about myself. although i think this is going to be like the time i realised that i have the attention span of a chicken, and when i shared this news with everyone, they were all like, 'uh. duh? you mean you just realised this..?'
haha.