wtf
2008-01-24 at 12:31 a.m.
honestly, i do believe that life is too short to spend pissed off at things, but at the same time, some times i cannot help but get utterly, emotionally-entangled-ly, protractedly pissed off. usually, i get pissed off, intensely, severely, extremely. then it blows over, usually in a day or two, although i will admit pride will sometimes get in the way of 'making up'. i'm not saying i don't bear grudges—i do, i remember most slights. but the heat, the intensity of that initial bout of anger never lasts long.
but this time, i do believe, is the longest i've been upset in a long time. in the first place, i don't like working with stupid people. why? because they're stupid. and i'm not. and that's a fact, not arrogance. i may not be the smartest, but i am assuredly not stupid. and i resent the fact that i have to work with people less intelligent than myself.
what's worse than stupidity, though, is irresponsibility. when i'm slaving away, putting 150% into something i don't give a flying fuck about, i expect you to be putting in at least 70%. especially when you a) are in a position 'higher' than me, and b) that position is one you contested me for.
maybe it's silly, but i believe in the ideal that is democracy. i believe that you should vote for the platform and the vision, not the person.
i also belive that once you make a commitment, you stick to it, and you do it to the best of your ability, whether or not you actually want to. which is why i spent two weeks of my life on that particular project, even though i did not believe in what i was putting effort in to creating.
which is also why i'm putting my life into this particular enterprise. a dozen times a day, i want to just say, 'fuck you, i hereby dump back on you the shit you dumped on me', but because i committed, because i don't want to be that person who walks away from a promise, because i simply can't bring myself to just do that, i don't. i read and recieve emails, msn messages and smses that immedately cast a pall on my day/afternoon/night. i continue to bug and badger strangers, ask favours from friends who i know have better things, more important things to do than answer my banal questions or forward me documents.
i give 20 hours of my life one weekend, and then more chunks of time throughout the week, and when i ask you to do one simple thing, you tell me to do it "ba". am i not supposed to be going 'what the FUCK?'?
i am not a "gal". don't fucking call me "gal".
i speak and read english. so should you. god knows you're supposed to be old and mature enough to have a good grasp of the language you use.
my time is precious. don't fucking waste it whilst you wave to every godamned loser whose acquintance you've made.
i'm pulling more than my weight, and you, as second-in-command, should be doing as much as me, if not more.
FUCK YOU, asshole. fucking cheebye bastard son of a bitch. UGH.
cheebye.